The path to motherhood begins...

An old friend from high school crossed paths with me in my twentieth year. We weren't tight in school, but I knew enough to know that he was a good guy. Our relationship began with the intensity of a teenage crush. From the day that we reconnected, we were together every day. Every. Single. Day. Over the course of four months, this progressed to living together and an engagement. I had never known the type of happiness that he brought me. He brought out a confidence in me that had been missing for a decade. He made me feel exceptional, as though there was no other woman in the world besides me. We were married within a year and a half of his proposal. Things progressed quickly, but without any doubt. My life was good.

At twenty two and twenty five, we were the first of any of our friends to get engaged, married and become homeowners. Things changed for us. Nights that were previously spent at nightclubs and pubs, were now filled with nesting and homemaking. Our interests changed as we matured into a married couple. It was isolating at times, but we were blissful. We didn't need anyone else to complete out perfect world.

After four months of marriage, I became pregnant. This pregnancy was not intentional, but it wasn't unwanted either. After the shock wore off, we were ecstatic at the thought of bringing a baby into our relationship. We jumped into the world of prenatal vitamins, teeny tiny clothes and baby names with both feet. I even picked up my very own copy of 'What to Expect When You Are Expecting'. That made the pregnancy feel like it was real. Perusing pregnancy symptoms and horror stories with my bag of chips in hand was like a rite of passage. I would later come to learn that this wasn't necessarily the best source of prenatal information. ;-).

August comes to a close...

I woke up to a cold, blustery, rainy day. With this being the last week of summer holidays for my wee ones, I had the intention of making every day of the week a special one. The weather inspired me to hunker down and get some things done around the house. Laundry, organizing, tidying, cleaning, school supply labelling - I could go on and on. As I decided which task held the highest priority, I paused and observed my kids. Watching me cross items off of my to-do list wasn't going to make a memory for them. I decided that I would take the kids to the beach for a stormy stroll. My ever efficient mind immediately thought that I could whip around the house and get some tidying done before we left. With the unpredictability of Mother Nature in mind, I decided that it would be best to ditch my household duties and head to the beach before the rain stopped. Rain gear was pulled out, and we hit the beach in search of the biggest puddles that we could find. We explored the beach, waded in rubber boots, walked over slippery branch bridges and watched some trains. Once we felt that we were adequately soaked, we piled into the car to warm up and go find some steamed soy milks. Small rituals like these, make up the memory banks of our youth.

I hope that one day, my children look back on their younger years and remember the days like this. The days that we put everything aside, in order to enjoy and explore the beauty that life has to offer. My goal as a parent, is to foster my children's appreciation for the simple entertainment in our world. If they grow up to enjoy the beach, the forest and the library as much, or more than the movie theatre, amusement park or shopping mall, then my mission will be complete.

I always wanted to be a mother.

I can recall my angst filled teenage years...self absorbed with a rather large chip on my shoulder. As typical as I was, I was rather unique in my awareness of my desire to mother. I often said, "there would be nothing worse than being unable to have children.". I wasn't particularly in to kids at the time...I just knew that I would be devastated if I couldn't have any when I wanted them.

During my grade twelve year, I travelled out of the country with my school. We attended a Shakespeare Festival in Oregon. While my classmates were buying souvenirs (magazines, t-shirts, junk food, etc.), I stumbled across a silver pendant that spoke to me. It was a kneeling woman. She was cradling her pregnant belly that was made of a smooth, iridescent moonstone. I purchased this piece, and wore it religiously for many years. I couldn't explain why I was drawn to this symbol. I just was. I would find out many years later, that this was the Goddess of Abundance - the mother goddess contemplating her creation.

Later on in my graduating year, I was given the assignment of sculpting a 'container' out of clay. While my friends made ashtrays, jewelry boxes and trinket holders, I chose to create the torso of a pregnant woman. Large breasts, supported by a beautiful round belly. Removing the belly, revealed a second trimester fetus. Not a practical container by any means, but it was the beginning of a life long passion for pregnancy and birth. I just didn't know that at the time.

Welcome.

Definitions of 'tide'. (dictionary.com)

Tide ~ the periodic rise and fall of the waters of the ocean and its inlets, produced by the attraction of the moon and sun, and occurring about every 12 hours.

Tide ~ current, tendency, or drift, as of events or ideas: the tide of international events.

'to float or drift with the tide'
'to carry, as the tide does'


I have been blessed with three incredible children that inspire and challenge me on a daily basis. Through them, I see the world in a different way. They help me to see beauty in the small things, and they help me to find the positive in the bad things.

I am devoting this space to sharing my thoughts on motherhood.

Mama Tides ~ The rise and fall , the ups and downs of raising children (ebbs and flows). Mamas are flexible, they are fluid (ocean). They come and they go (tides) but they are always there.

The love of a mama is ever present - it carries a family, just as the tide does.

I welcome you to join my journey, thank you for stopping by.